“Where is my Mother?”

I am really excited, I am about to see what is outside my mother’s womb. But I am also a little scared because I heard my mother talking to a friend the other day and she said “I don’t want this baby, I wish it was dead. My mother is going to disown me when she finds out I am pregnant”. I don’t know what she meant, but it made me feel afraid. I also feel sad that my grandmother does not know that I am here and my mother says that my grandmother does not want me either. It’s also getting very squashed in here because I think my mother does not have any big clothes. She squeezes me into her tight jeans and short belts. Sometimes it is very uncomfortable. Hooray, I can hear the nice nurses talking. We must be at the clinic now. I wonder why mummy is crying and screaming. Ooooh! It is scary! “One last push” says the nurse…..and….

Wow, it’s bright outside and a little cold. The nurse has put me into something that is soft and warm – but it is not like being inside my mother. I have not seen her yet because the nurse is going to wash me and weigh me. Ouch, she just gave me an injection. “This is a BCG injection” says the nurse to my mother, “it will prevent your baby from contracting Tuberculosis”. I think I want to go back to where I came from! Now the nurse gives me to my mother, she is soft and so pretty, but there is something wrong – she does not hold me. She tells the nurse to put me in the cot to sleep. “What a beautiful baby girl” says another nurse who has just come on morning duty. I feel proud that she thinks I am beautiful. The nurse is telling my mother that she must take me home. Now I can meet my grandmother.

Mummy picks me and takes me to the taxi rank near the big shops. I do not feel safe because my mother keeps giving me to other people. She leaves me with one of the shopkeepers so that she can go to the toilet. I wait and wait and mummy does not come back. The nice lady who is looking after me gives me a new blanket and holds me and talks to me. She seems very nice. What is she doing now? She is phoning the police – I have not done anything wrong, I am only five hours old. “Alright” she tells the policeman, “I will phone Blessed Gérard’s Children’s Home”. What is going to happen to me? Who are the people from the children’s home and where is my mother?

Someone is picking me up. They are strong hands, but soft and I feel safe. But I am hungry. Where is my mother? The strong hands belong to Father Gérard. He hugs me to him and talks softly to me. He reassures me that I am loved and that I am wanted. The nice ladies in the shop are very happy that I am going to Blessed Gérard’s Children’s Home. But where is my mother? I am hungry and I am tired and I have not had a proper bath yet. I am still all sticky. Aunty Clare is undressing me to make sure that I have not been hurt. She is gently taking my blanket and baby suit off. “This is a new born baby!”, she says, she saw the fresh cord, newly clamped, which had been my life line to my mother. Where is my mother? Father Gérard and Aunty Clare seem to be very kind. They are trying to decide how to try how to trace my mother for me. “The clinic is the place we must go, that is where this beautiful little girl must have been born. Perhaps the nurses will remember her,” says Father Gérard. We are in the car now, it is fun.

Now we are at the clinic. The nice nurses are really excited to see me “Oh, I remember this special baby, she was born this morning! Where is her mother? Do you know that her mother did not even want to hold her?” says the nurse. I wonder why my mother does not want to hold me. I am hungry and I am tired, please take me home.

Father Gérard and Aunty Clare take me to a nice warm and welcoming place. This must be Blessed Gérard’s Children’s Home. The care givers are also nice to me.

They bath me, wrap me in a soft blanket and give me a lovely warm bottle of milk. I can sleep now. But where is my mother? I am happily dreaming of my mother and my grandmother when I wake up with a fright. Aunty Clare is picking me up, what is happening? Why did she wake me up? Where is my mother? Aunty Clare holds me lovingly and carries me to a room where there are some people. They are talking. What are they saying? Father Gérard is talking, he sounds unhappy. Then I hear a familiar voice. It is my mother. Here is my mother. But why did she leave me with the shopkeeper four hours ago. Does she not understand that I was afraid?

Aunty Clare hands me to my grandmother, who sees me for the first time. She looks nice. She smiles at me and hugs me. My grandmother wants me! I am happy at last after a strange and frightening adventure into the world. Thank you Blessed Gérard’s Children’s Home for looking after me so lovingly.

This page is part of the Newsletter No. 25 of the Brotherhood of Blessed Gérard

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This page was last updated on Tuesday, 15 January 2013 12:50:20